This is the first in a series of posts on some of the more common biblical views of divorce and remarriage. The content of these posts come mostly from some lectures David Jones gave at SEBTS.
Same-sex marriage is getting a lot of attention right now and for good reason. However, I believe there is a more fundamental and pervasive problem with our views of marriage and the family. As Dr. David Jones once said in an ethics class at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, divorce and remarriage are hands down the greatest moral problems facing the church today. What do you think about that statement?
Do you think divorce and remarriage are the greatest moral problems facing the church? Even though there is no way to REALLY know what is the greatest moral problem anywhere, I think Dr. Jones might be right.
Today we hear people complaining that we need to stop our government from redefining marriage, but haven’t we already redefined marriage back in the 1970s and 1980s when almost every state adopted some form of no-fault divorce law? Part of me thinks we should not be so surprised that so many young people today have a low view of marriage and are happy to approve same-sex marriage. Anyone born after 1983 has grown up seeing their parents treat marriage just like a contract. They have not observed the perpetual and life-long covenantal vows “for better or for worse, till death do us part.” Instead when things go bad and someone is not happy, then they get a divorce. The very essence of marriage as a covenant has already been redefined by both our government and an entire generation of “failed marriages.” Continue reading
Filed under 1 Corinthians, Bible Studies, Christian Living, Counseling, Discipleship, Family Ministry, Lectures, Marriage, Matthew, Pastoral Ministry, SEBTS
The following are my notes from Tim Keller’s portion of the sermon given by him and his wife at The Gospel Coalition’s 2012 National Women’s Conference. A video of the entire message can be found HERE
1. The Unreal and Distorted Relationship of Our Culture to Marriage
Here are three statistics about marriage in our culture:
1. The divorce rate today is about 50%, but it was only 25% in 1960.
2. In 1960 75% of all US adults were married, but today it is less than 50%.
3. In 1960 the percent of those who cohabited was not even on the map, but today 25% of all unmarried women ages 25-40 are living with a man. Over half of all women in their 20s, 30s, & 40s will at one time cohabit.
These statistics are striking and show a huge change in our culture but they also communicate a set of assumptions:
Where did the term come from?
John Piper: At the Danvers Statement gathering We need another name so we distinguish between egalitarianism and the abuse of the differences between men and women were the men are domineering or passive and likewise the women who abusing it.
Where is the culture now?
Russell Moore: I fear we are complimentarian by checking off a box but not functionally in the home. Today pastors have to deal with men wanting be women. Luther never had to deal with that!
Why is this issue talked about at a conference about coming together for the gospel?
John Piper: That is a great question because we do not need to believe it to be a Christian, but marriage is the gospel portrayed. You could lose the gospel because of the gymnastics you would have to do to be egalitarian.
Greg Gilbert: It is a corrosive hermeneutic that gets to egalitarian. That corrosion will eventually get at the heart of the gospel.
Russell Moore: The question is not just of we have male headship but what kind of male headship we will have. Continue reading
I recently received an email from someone who asked this question. After I wrote him back he said my words were encouraging to him and that I should share them with others. So here you go:
As you might expect, a godly woman who loves the Lord would be the first quality I would encourage you to look for in a wife. I would encourage you to read 1 Peter 3:3-4 and see that God’s word encourages women to pursue “the imperishable beauty.” Physical attraction is not essential for a marriage to work. Will you love this woman if she has a terrible accident and disfigures her body or face? Or is your love conditional on your physical attraction? Do you want to be with her till you die (till death do us part) or are you going to be interested in a younger more physically attracted woman when you wife gets old, wrinkly, saggy skin, etc…? These questions may seem obvious but that is my point. If you think about it long enough you realize how shallow a marriage would be if physical attraction was the most important thing for you to look for.
So is it important at all?